Thursday, January 19, 2012

Proposed State Mottoes

What follows are original, proposed state mottoes for each state in America, from Alabama to Missouri to Wyoming. Some are funny, some are witty, some are lame, but all should be given a look-see if any one state should think about revising their motto to something more contemporary and accurate. (Here's looking at ya, New York state.) Enjoy.

Alabama: "At least we're not Mississippi!"
Alaska: "We're nothing like Sarah Palin!"
Arizona: "Just deserts!"
Arkansas: "If it weren't for us, people of Wal-Mart wouldn't exist!"
California: "We grow our own grass!"
Colorado: "Get closer to God here!"
Connecticut: "Home of ESPN!"
Delaware: "We're number one!"
Florida: "We're all about the 80s, from weather, to fashion, and even IQs!"
Georgia: "We're Coke addicts!"
Hawaii: "Everyone gets leid!"
Idaho: "No small potatoes here!"
Illinois: "Average, and proud of it!"
Indiana: "Hoosier Daddy!"
Iowa: "If you build it, you better have a permit!"
Kansas: "Welcome to the middle of nowhere, literally!"
Kentucky: "No nonsense, just horse sense!"
Louisiana: "Life's just one big party!"
Maine: "There's nothing fishy about us!"
Maryland: "Now entering the WASP's nest!"
Massachusetts: "Spreading the common wealth around!"
Michigan: "We auto catch a break real soon!"
Minnesota: "Home of green trees, blue skies, and purple rain!"
Mississippi: "At least we're not Alabama!"
Missouri: "Where West meets East!"
Montana: "Get in touch with your inner nature!"
Nebraska: "Leaders in cornography!"
Nevada: "Gamble your life away here!"
New Hampshire: "All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!"
New Jersey: "As seen on TV!"
New Mexico: "Just like old Mexico, only newer!"
New York: "You can never be too Jewish, liberal, or homosexual here!"
North Carolina: "We invented those flying machines!"
North Dakota: "Canada's the next stop over!"
Ohio: "We're so friendly, hello is our middle name!"
Oklahoma: "Everything's OK with us!"
Oregon: "With all these trees, who needs toilet paper!"
Pennsylvania: "Boo bird sightings all year 'round!"
Rhode Island: "We're only a stone's throw away from the other states!"
South Carolina: "We never surrendered to those damn Yankees!"
South Dakota: "We take our leaders for granite!"
Tennessee: "Full set of teeth optional!"
Texas: "We have the death penalty, and we use it!"
Utah: "We welcome you and your spouses!"
Vermont: "Ben and Jerry were the first gay couple to wed here!"
Virginia: "Older than the Queen of England!"
Washington: "Where the sun never shines!"
West Virginia: "We're all just one big, tight-knit family!"
Wisconsin: "We don't take too kindly to lactose intolerance!"
Wyoming: "Two cows for every person!"

And lastly...

Washington, D.C.: "First in war, first in peace, and last to know about struggling Americans!"

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