Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Rock On... Discerning Genuine Love

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, or Single Awareness Day for some people, and it's always an interesting time of year. Couples either strengthen, or they crash and burn. Two people may commit themselves to marriage, or one (or both) may tell the other to get mentally committed. Whichever way the pointer swings, one thing is for sure: relationships make or break based on love. But what is love? It's a question asked for millennia, from philosophers to novelists to contemporary musicians. It's an even bigger kettle of fish when people mistake "love", or infatuation, for love. Almost everyone wants to be in a fulfilling, lifelong relationship, and the only way to achieve that is for both people to accept each other unconditionally as possible. But how do you know if a relationship is true or not? Below, I give you my six points defining what love is and isn't. Please use these tidbits to better yourself, your significant other, or anyone else who wants to know if your/their relationship is built upon a steady rock or shifting sand. Godspeed.

*is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.
*is marked by a feeling of insecurity. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine to closely. They might spoil the dream.
*says, "We must get married right away, I can't risk losing you."
*has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you will admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy.
*lacks confidence. When (s)he's away, you wonder if (s)he is cheating. Sometimes, you even check.
*might lead you to do things you'll regret later.

*is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows - one day at a time.
*is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. You want him/her nearer. But near or far, you know (s)he is yours and you can wait.
*says, "Be patient. Don't panic. (S)he is yours. Plan your future with confidence."
*is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
*means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. (S)he feels that trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.
*is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.

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